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8/14/17
i posted that textpost first bc i didn't want my first entry to be negative but zoo wee mama here we go. it's rly not that much i'm just sick and i feel like i'm dying and i still have to do my homework and block at least 2 songs for Rent. i woke up feeling a lil bad and then it got worse as the school day went on and then by the time i got home it all hit me and ugh i feel horrible. i really hope i don't get calvin and kathryn sick. but i also owe it to them to hold up my end of the deal to block these songs and hold rehearsal even tho i don't feel like it. to stray a bit, i've been thinking a lot, and like about stuff i guess i can't rly post here bc it's public and for school and that stuff will get me thrown in therapy (not that that's a bad thing per se, i rly do like my therapist but i haven't been in a really long time) or get my parents called or someone worrying over me and i don't want that, but i just can't figure out who i am right now or what. i want i feel like i'm in limbo, caught between places and caught between versions of myself. anyway, i should go. g here is a photo i took of calvin yesterday (8/15/17 yes i know i forgot to post) at rehearsal and it's a big mood
8/16/17
yesterday's rehearsal went very well; i'm very impressed with how quickly calvin and kathryn are learning (and remembering) their blocking. i worked out tonight w kat and she learned her blocking really quickly (considering the complexity of the blocking in comparison to other numbers in the show). she is taking notes well when i give them, however on some things i feel that i will need to remind her a few times before she really cements them in her brain. we ran through what we have so far, from tune up #1 through light my candle (i had them run that twice since they are less familiar with it, so we did not have time to run out tonight again, but i am confident that kathryn has it), and i am very happy with the progress we are making. i feel like i am growing more and more into the role of a director with each rehearsal. i am becoming more assertive and unapologetic about changes i want made, and i think my actors are responding well to that. calvin and i work very easily together, our comfort ability around each other has proven to be to our advantage, and i am eager to see more of her as roger. after expressing to her before our first rehearsal that the dynamic between us would have to change slightly within the boundaries of rehearsal and of rent in general, she has been nothing but respectful of my position as her director. i am significantly less familiar with kathryn, but she is eager to please and impress, and is already doing both of those things. i have some concerns about her stage maturity in portraying mimi, and about her tendency to belt everything, but i am confident that through this rehearsal process she will learn more and more about her character, and achieve the complexity and maturity that mimi requires. it's not that kathryn herself is not emotionally mature, it's simply her body language that sometimes reads more high schooler than 19 year old heroin addict stripper, and that is something we can work on. i am about to begin blocking another day and christmas bells, and i am looking forward to rehearsal tomorrow. goodbye for now g WHY CANT I JUST REMEMBER TO POST ITS NOT THAT HARD
anyway.
8/18/17 yesterday's rehearsal felt strange. i started doing one phrase to warm them up and would give them different scenarios to do with the exercise. i'm not sure if it helped or not but it was good to see them do something besides try to be roger and mimi. however yesterday we tackled another day and it was a struggle bc that's the first song w deep anger and sadness yet also hope (in mimi's case) which they have to perform together and they were struggling to figure out the dynamics between their characters during the song. it was clearly challenging for all of us, and of course i can't expect it to go perfectly but i was a little discouraging bc everything has been going very smoothly and this was a major bump in the road. we wasted some time, which i regret, and i explained to both of them that they can't stop the scene every time they mess up or else we end up spending the entire rehearsal on one song. i'm hopeful though, i believe they are both just still unsure of their characters and, being the 4th rehearsal, it's going to take them some time to really fall into it, so i'm not overly worried. i have them both excersizes for character development. another aspect of the weird vibe was that we were in b104 and that room still doesn't feel quite right. we'll see how things go in b101 on tuesday. ttyl g why am i... the worst????????.. why can't i just remember 2 post?? i literally told myself last night to post and then forgot ugh. do better @myself
hey what's up i'm still off my game but i promise i'll do better about posting.
yesterday i i did character study w calvin and we got through some of it but she's really struggling to figure out roger bc they're polar opposites. we have very different views about acting and how to get into character which is good bc everyone needs different perspectives and there's not a formula to acting it just makes it kind of difficult to find the intersection where we can work together effectively. i'm excited to watch her grow into this character though, it's just going to take time. i was up until 4:30 last night doing my EE so i came home today and took a nap and until like 10 and i feel awful bc my dad called me to remind me to tell my gran happy birthday earlier and i didn't do it then and then forgot until i woke up and i called her at 10:30 and i just feel like just a crappy person. she does so much for me and is one of the kindest people i know and i completely forgot about her birthday. :-////:(((((( ive just been in such a limbo lately and idk how to snap out of it
9/4/17
hey girls, it's been a brazy weekend and it's been so much fun!! i spent the night w kat and nifemi friday and then went to athens and saw my brother on sunday! and now i'm at my dad's house grilling out for labor day. i've gotta block happy new year and without you later (and work on i should tell you some more), and i'm excited bc after that the show is nearly over and once blocking is done we can work on fine tuning every song and go deeper into character study which i think is going to be very important. i've got some good ideas brewing for this show, and i hope they will manifest in the physical world the way they have grown in my mind. adios ladies rehearsal went well. for the first thirty minutes i worked w both actors individually to draw out the emotions/sides of their character i haven't seen yet. with calvin i finally saw roger's anger and it was stunning. i tried to get kathryn to be seductive but she struggled to get into mimi's headspace and let her actions be ruled by kathryn's embarrassment. however, she seems determined to work on it, so i am hopeful. we got though i should tell you, happy new year, and without you, so it was a very successful rehearsal in my book.
byeeeeeeee ^^^ me trying to wrangle kat and calvin into acting like girlfriends
we worked on goodbye love yesterday and it just wasn't what i want it to be, so we'll keep working it until it is.
we missed a rehearsal today bc of Irma but i'm not particularly worried, i feel like i'm at a good place w my show. i made a bit of a breakthrough w kat the other day! she gets into mimi through music. like songs she thinks mimi would like. also she's a visual learner so that's gonna change the way i direct her. i feel a bit better now.
this ^^^^ is an exciting image. during IB theatre today we got to work w the sets hands on and cassie and i were chosen randomly to get to assemble ours. i'm very happy about it. i was worried about my set- very worried- but i'm pretty satisfied with this. thank you for making this possible garcia.
ill write after rehearsal tomorrow can u spell "committent issues" geez i can't even commit to this journal help me
anyway rehearsal yesterday went well we did finale and it was alright but i'm still not fully satisfied w it. it's the other stuff that went so well. at the beginning of rehearsal for one excersize i looked at them and said "mimi u just died" and calvin really ran with it, by the end of the excersize she was genuinely upset and in tears and it was great. i also took breaks to do improv w the three of us as our characters just living life, and we really enjoyed it. i think it's a really good excersize to get them in character, and it seemed to really click with kathryn! toodaloo i just got out of therapy so i'm trying not beat myself up for anything BUT WHY CANT I JUST REMEMBER TO POST SHEESH anyway hi i'm still stressed over my show but we did our first full run through yesterday and it was alright
im working on my lighting cues rn and it's tedious and takes a long time but i actually am really enjoying it bc i can visualize my show and it makes everything feel a lot more polished. i spent nearly 3 hours today in the edge of a panic attack over my show and everything there's left to do but i'm alright now, and i'm actually getting a bit excited. i think that the lighting in planning will really contribute to the overall production, and i think it will be an important part of getting the audience to fall into the show as a reality. sound on the other hand,,,, aHHHH. i have 9/13 instrumental tracks downloaded but i literally cannot find the other four or find versions that my actors will be able to use or will sound half decent. i'm,, skressed.
ttyl hi! we're just wrapping up our first day of tech week and i was super stressed abt it but it's actually been really fun! i feel like it's bringing us all closer, and it's neat to see everyone's shows.
we're at rehearsal and me cam kellie gen and jared are having the best conversation these people make my heart and life so full and i need to appreciate them more i really love them so so much and i'm so grateful for them. family.
genevieve batts rly changed my life last night. im
grateful. hey what's up i'm stressed whats new
hello it is i, master of procrastination and forgetting Everything. skfjskdhskdjshfkshdhd
I LOVE BEING SUCH A MESS UP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHSHAHAHAHSHAHSHbaa auditions tomorrow and i haven't decided on my monologues yet shfkshdkdhwkjss why am i like this
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